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Campfire-headerAs a camping enthusiast and regular RVer, you know that nothing quite compares to enjoying the evening under a star-splashed Autumn sky far from the beaten path. As you settle in with your family and friends around that blazing warm campfire, out come the marshmallows, the chocolate syrup, and the graham crackers. There’s usually an acoustic guitar just within reach, and there’s most certainly lots of great campfire stories ready to be shared. Since you can never hear too many great campfire stories, here’s a few more to share with your kids and camping pals:

A Job at the Zoo

gorillaWhen I was in high school, I was searching for a fun part-time job. I heard that our local zoo was hiring. Sure enough, the Zoo Director said that he had just the job for me and was certain I would find it interesting! He led me to the back of the gorilla enclosure, which was one of the most popular attractions at the zoo. It was empty. The Director explained that Kong, their resident gorilla, wasn’t feeling well and needed to be quarantined for a while.  Much to my surprise, the Director then asked me if I’d like to fill in for Kong until he was feeling better!

 “Are you serious?” I asked.

The Director explained that all I had to do was wear a gorilla suit and sit on a branch for a few hours each day so that visitors who traveled great distances hoping to see Kong could still see a gorilla. As crazy as the idea seemed, I accepted the job. One day, a group of wide-eyed children approached the enclosure, and with excited faces, pressed their faces against the glass. Realizing that my gorilla suit was so lifelike, I decided to put on a little show for the kids. I started pounding my big knuckles on my hairy chest, jumping around, and swinging from vine to vine. Everyone loved it, and I was having a great time. Swinging higher and higher, I heard the kids cheering me on. I started swinging closer to the Lion’s enclosure next to me when all of a sudden I found myself in the next enclosure! I had swung too high and let go of the rope too soon.

I heard the angry roars coming from behind me, and soon enough the lion was on top of me.  “Help me! Help! I’m a real person in here!” I tried to shout. I could feel his teeth getting closer to my neck. Just when I thought I’d never make it to graduation, he leans in close and whispers, “Shh! Be quiet or you’ll get us both fired!”

The Most Popular Man

popular manOne day at work, Bob was bragging that he knew everyone that was anyone. His boss got tired of his boasting and decided to call him on it. He said, ‘OK Bob, how about Clint Eastwood? Do you know him?’

‘Oh sure ‘, said Bob. ‘He and my Dad shoot pheasant together and he’s a great guy.’

‘OK, prove it’, said his boss. ‘Let’s fly out to Hollywood and you can introduce me.’

‘Great!’, said Bob. And so they did. They took a taxi to Mr. Eastwood’s estate, Bob knocks on the door, Mr. Eastwood opens it and shouts, ‘Bob! Hey, great to see you! You and your friend come on in and have lunch.’

Bob’s boss was impressed, but still skeptical. When they left after lunch, he said, ‘That was a coincidence that you knew Clint Eastwood. How about the President?’ ‘Sure, I know him’, replied Bob. So, they fly off to Washington, DC and head to the White House. As they are touring the grounds, The President sees Bob and comes right over saying, ‘My gosh, Bob, I haven’t seen you in a couple years. Come on in, have some coffee and let’s catch up.’ After a couple hours, Bob and his boss are escorted off the White House grounds and Bob asks his boss, ‘Well, do you believe me now?’

His boss, shaken and a bit bewildered, but still not completely convinced says, ‘I’ll believe you if you show me you know one more person – the Pope.’ ‘Certainly’, says Bob, ‘I’ve known the Pope since I was just a little kid. Let’s fly over to Italy.’

So, off to Rome they fly and join a mass of people in Vatican Square waiting to catch a glimpse of the Pope. Bob says, ‘There’s no way I can get the Pope’s attention with all these people here. How about if I go talk to one of the guards I know and then I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope to prove to you I know him.’

Bob’s boss waits as Bob heads off into the crowd. About 15 minutes later, the Pope emerges on the balcony and right beside him is Bob waving to the crowd. When Bob returned a few minutes later to where he had left his boss, there were paramedics there surrounding his boss laying on the ground – he had had a heart attack. Bob rushes up and asks what happened.

His boss looks up at him and replies, ‘I was doing ok when you came out on the balcony. But then the guy next to me asks ‘Hey, who’s that up on there on the balcony with Bob?”

Vinder Viper

house in woodsA man rented an old home on a quiet hill in the middle of the woods. He had no neighbors to speak of, and was looking forward to peace and quiet.

About a week after he moved in, he received a phone call. “I am the Vinder Viper,” the voice on the end of the line said. “I am coming there in two weeks.”

The caller abruptly hung up, and the man was a little surprised. What was a Vinder Viper? What did he want? He tried to look up Vinder Viper on the Internet but couldn’t find anything.

A week later, the phone rang again. “I am the Vinder Viper,” he said again. “I will be there in one week.” Once again, the caller hung up the phone before he could ask a question.

Now the man was getting nervous. Who could the Vinder Viper be? He began to wish he lived closer to other people. Being all alone out in the woods – who knew what would come of him?

He counted the days until the Vinder Viper said he was coming. Almost a week later, the phone rang again, “I am the Vinder Viper. I will come there tomorrow!” Once again, the caller hung up the phone with no explanation.

The next day, the man was jumpy, listening for strange noises and watching for anyone to sneak up his hill. He had just settled down with a cup of coffee when the doorbell rang.

Cautiously, he approached the door and peered through the peephole. He didn’t see anyone. He slowly opened the door, and there on the porch was a little old man with a thick accent.

“Hello,” he said. “I am the Vinder Viper. I’m here to vash your vindows.”

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